The Lolita fashion world is much different then when I first started, and when it started out in the western world more than a decade ago. The mindset of the frilly ladies and gentlemen of our fashion have really turned into something completely different.
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It seems that lately there have been a lot of secret and anonymous communities releasing posts about hating themselves, not wearing Lolita out of fear of others, or describing some kind of "issue" they have with others based on trivial physical aspects of someone else of what they are wearing or their body type. It has been bothering me to such a point that it makes me not want to be involved with the online community. To be honest, I have taken weeks off from the communities, feeds, and blog posts from others because I just do not want to see it. I really have a hard time facing these tough subjects, because it hurts me to see people feeling that way.
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The clothing itself is changing too. The designs and prints that are coming out from brands seem to be lacking. General quality and detail seems to have been tossed aside for ease of mass production and cheap products. Replicas were rampant for a while (not as much anymore, especially after the EGL ban), and there is a large portion of the online community feeding into this cheap consumerism over quality and uniqueness. I found my wishlists turning into archives of dresses that you cannot purchase anymore, and I have not been adding anything new to them.
So what do you do about this information? People feel low. Clothing is not so fantastic as it used to be. Maybe the local meetups are not that great anymore either.
This returns to the basic concept of why you wear Lolita fashion. Think about it. Why are you putting those clothes on? If you put them on, does your boyfriend like you more? Are you wearing the clothes so that you can make new friends? Do you want to gain popularity or some kind of "e-fame" by participating in the fashion?
If you are doing it for any of those above reasons, you are not going to stay in the fashion. I cannot stress enough the importance of yourself in this decision. You need to look at those clothes, the pictures of the models and magazines, and see what it invokes within you. At the end of the day, if there is not something largely selfish about why you love these clothes, you will fade away from it (or in the least, keep it in your life but become inactive in participating).
My reasons for Lolita fashion initially seems silly. At first, I thought it was pretty. Then, it was something to gain friendships I was so desperate to have. Being involved in Lolita fashion meant I had the possibility of meeting people who were willing to talk to me just because we had a similar interest.
I had almost completely left it all behind at one point. Leaving Lolita fashion is like trying to break up with a boyfriend you have had on and off for a few years. It is agonizingly difficult like a bad habit, you love and hate it at the same time, and you have a lot of baggage with it. I eventually decided to stick with it because I felt like it was an innate part of my personality and life.
Now, I look at it fondly. I enjoy the swish of my skirt over a petticoat, and the way it accentuates my waist. I love the comfort of my bloomers and the way I always seem to have time to do my hair in a fancy do when I know I have a nice coordinate that day.
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Even though the meetups may be few and the new clothing coming out may not be that exciting, my wardrobe makes me happy. They make me feel inspired and lovely, and for that, I keep them around.
As for people who try to make me feel bad about my clothing choices, well, take this in the most polite way possible - fuck off.
Today on International Lolita Day, it is important to be introspective. Look at yourself in the mirror, and without any external forces, tell yourself what Lolita fashion means to you, why you wear it, and what you plan on doing in the next five years with it. Make sure all those reasons are positive, uplifting, and adding to your life. As soon as Lolita fashion is bringing you down, it is time to cut the ties and call it a day. You should never feel weighed by it.
Enjoy all the ornate coordinates you will see in person at a meetup if you are going to one, and posted today on our local communities. Those feelings you get, retain them for a day when you are feeling down and out and want to just leave it all behind. If this fashion makes you happy, go for it. Do not let anyone stop you!
It seems that lately there have been a lot of secret and anonymous communities releasing posts about hating themselves, not wearing Lolita out of fear of others, or describing some kind of "issue" they have with others based on trivial physical aspects of someone else of what they are wearing or their body type. It has been bothering me to such a point that it makes me not want to be involved with the online community. To be honest, I have taken weeks off from the communities, feeds, and blog posts from others because I just do not want to see it. I really have a hard time facing these tough subjects, because it hurts me to see people feeling that way.
The clothing itself is changing too. The designs and prints that are coming out from brands seem to be lacking. General quality and detail seems to have been tossed aside for ease of mass production and cheap products. Replicas were rampant for a while (not as much anymore, especially after the EGL ban), and there is a large portion of the online community feeding into this cheap consumerism over quality and uniqueness. I found my wishlists turning into archives of dresses that you cannot purchase anymore, and I have not been adding anything new to them.
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| From Angelic Pretty |
This returns to the basic concept of why you wear Lolita fashion. Think about it. Why are you putting those clothes on? If you put them on, does your boyfriend like you more? Are you wearing the clothes so that you can make new friends? Do you want to gain popularity or some kind of "e-fame" by participating in the fashion?
If you are doing it for any of those above reasons, you are not going to stay in the fashion. I cannot stress enough the importance of yourself in this decision. You need to look at those clothes, the pictures of the models and magazines, and see what it invokes within you. At the end of the day, if there is not something largely selfish about why you love these clothes, you will fade away from it (or in the least, keep it in your life but become inactive in participating).
My reasons for Lolita fashion initially seems silly. At first, I thought it was pretty. Then, it was something to gain friendships I was so desperate to have. Being involved in Lolita fashion meant I had the possibility of meeting people who were willing to talk to me just because we had a similar interest.
I had almost completely left it all behind at one point. Leaving Lolita fashion is like trying to break up with a boyfriend you have had on and off for a few years. It is agonizingly difficult like a bad habit, you love and hate it at the same time, and you have a lot of baggage with it. I eventually decided to stick with it because I felt like it was an innate part of my personality and life.
Now, I look at it fondly. I enjoy the swish of my skirt over a petticoat, and the way it accentuates my waist. I love the comfort of my bloomers and the way I always seem to have time to do my hair in a fancy do when I know I have a nice coordinate that day.
Even though the meetups may be few and the new clothing coming out may not be that exciting, my wardrobe makes me happy. They make me feel inspired and lovely, and for that, I keep them around.
As for people who try to make me feel bad about my clothing choices, well, take this in the most polite way possible - fuck off.
Today on International Lolita Day, it is important to be introspective. Look at yourself in the mirror, and without any external forces, tell yourself what Lolita fashion means to you, why you wear it, and what you plan on doing in the next five years with it. Make sure all those reasons are positive, uplifting, and adding to your life. As soon as Lolita fashion is bringing you down, it is time to cut the ties and call it a day. You should never feel weighed by it.
Enjoy all the ornate coordinates you will see in person at a meetup if you are going to one, and posted today on our local communities. Those feelings you get, retain them for a day when you are feeling down and out and want to just leave it all behind. If this fashion makes you happy, go for it. Do not let anyone stop you!